WARNING: Whining Ahead
Oct. 9th, 2006 11:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
orikesI guess it's official. I'm depressed. I've been in a funk for the last two weeks that I can't shake.
Mostly it's the unemployment thing. I had an interview two weeks ago that I was really excited about, but they were supposed to call the people they wanted last week. I didn't get a call. Despite telling myself to be realistic, I got my hopes up. The job seemed interesting and paid really well. It would have been perfect. I suppose there's still a chance they'll call, and I jump every time I hear the phone ring, and then get disappointed when it's not them.
And, of course, this gets me thinking about how unfair and stupid it was that Kodak let me go. I'm waiting to hear back from a woman I was working with. Her contract was up about three weeks after mine. If she's still working there, then I know for sure that it was just complete and utter idiocy and incompetence that cost me my job. My co-worker is a really sweet person, and I'd be happy for her if they kept her, but I did five times the job she did. They never took her off normal phones and taught her anything. I had at least three different other jobs they had me handling.
Financially I was really starting to make some headway. The defaulted student loans were still hanging out there like a mountain I pretend doesn't exist, but the rest of the debt was going away, slowly but surely. I felt like a real human being again, able to enjoy life without worrying about every single penny. I was honestly within sight of being able to have a car again. Now it's all gone and I'm living on what's essentially minimum wage. How anyone, anywhere in this country can think minimum wage is a living wage is beyond me.
Of course, the financial thought starts making me upset at myself for not being better about things and getting on track sooner. There's no reason I couldn't have been better about my money a year ago and had a car this past Spring. But even if I'm getting better than I was, I still suck at managing my money.
Depression is pretty insidious. It makes me not want to do anything at all. If I give into that desire, it just makes me feel even more miserable, because now I'm unemployed with all the time in the world on my hands and I'm not accomplishing jack shit. I'm lazy and I'm good for nothing.
Tomorrow, I'm actually getting out of the house. A friend fell and fractured her leg, and needs an extra pair of hands to help with the eight month old monster baby (precocious and big for her age). I've got a thing in the afternoon with the Department of Labor (the standard meeting to tell you how to look for a job, yatta yatta yatta) and then I'm going to see some gay movies with a friend.
Anyway. Whining done. I promise the next post will not be as misery inducing.
P.S. I just found out that my dad was laid off from his job too. Complete suckiness. He just got back from a beautiful, fun week at Disney World, only to be met in his cubicle by Human Resources at 7:30am. It's so stupid too, because they had to cut one person from his group, and the other person is useless, but has seniority. Stupid, unfair world.
Mostly it's the unemployment thing. I had an interview two weeks ago that I was really excited about, but they were supposed to call the people they wanted last week. I didn't get a call. Despite telling myself to be realistic, I got my hopes up. The job seemed interesting and paid really well. It would have been perfect. I suppose there's still a chance they'll call, and I jump every time I hear the phone ring, and then get disappointed when it's not them.
And, of course, this gets me thinking about how unfair and stupid it was that Kodak let me go. I'm waiting to hear back from a woman I was working with. Her contract was up about three weeks after mine. If she's still working there, then I know for sure that it was just complete and utter idiocy and incompetence that cost me my job. My co-worker is a really sweet person, and I'd be happy for her if they kept her, but I did five times the job she did. They never took her off normal phones and taught her anything. I had at least three different other jobs they had me handling.
Financially I was really starting to make some headway. The defaulted student loans were still hanging out there like a mountain I pretend doesn't exist, but the rest of the debt was going away, slowly but surely. I felt like a real human being again, able to enjoy life without worrying about every single penny. I was honestly within sight of being able to have a car again. Now it's all gone and I'm living on what's essentially minimum wage. How anyone, anywhere in this country can think minimum wage is a living wage is beyond me.
Of course, the financial thought starts making me upset at myself for not being better about things and getting on track sooner. There's no reason I couldn't have been better about my money a year ago and had a car this past Spring. But even if I'm getting better than I was, I still suck at managing my money.
Depression is pretty insidious. It makes me not want to do anything at all. If I give into that desire, it just makes me feel even more miserable, because now I'm unemployed with all the time in the world on my hands and I'm not accomplishing jack shit. I'm lazy and I'm good for nothing.
Tomorrow, I'm actually getting out of the house. A friend fell and fractured her leg, and needs an extra pair of hands to help with the eight month old monster baby (precocious and big for her age). I've got a thing in the afternoon with the Department of Labor (the standard meeting to tell you how to look for a job, yatta yatta yatta) and then I'm going to see some gay movies with a friend.
Anyway. Whining done. I promise the next post will not be as misery inducing.
P.S. I just found out that my dad was laid off from his job too. Complete suckiness. He just got back from a beautiful, fun week at Disney World, only to be met in his cubicle by Human Resources at 7:30am. It's so stupid too, because they had to cut one person from his group, and the other person is useless, but has seniority. Stupid, unfair world.