Open Heart Surgery

[orikes]

Mom is in the hospital. She went in this past Thursday after a fainting spell and a seizure of sorts. I found out this morning that they’re planning on doing open heart surgery sometime early this week. Something about a deteriorating aortic valve.

I alternate between worry, frustration, and guilt.

Worry is for obvious reasons. Her health isn’t so good and I’m honestly not sure how well she’ll do with a surgery this intensive. I know Strong is a good heart hospital and these surgeries are more common than we like to think, but.. I still worry. On top of that, this is what took her mother away from us. At about the same time of the year. Grandma Pounds went into the hospital around Thanksgiving and left us on Christmas Eve.

The frustration is because she’s not that old. She’s only sixty-three. There’s no reason her health should be this bad except for the alcohol, the cigarettes, and the fact that she hasn’t taken care of herself for the last few years. She doesn’t eat right, and she doesn’t get any exercise at all, not even daily chores. Theoretically, she doesn’t drink as much now as she used to, but she is still pretty much what I would classify as an alcoholic. The smoking continues unabated. I just get angry thinking about what she could have done to keep herself from getting this bad this fast. There’s no reason other than neglect of her health that she’s sixty-three going on eighty-five.

And that brings in the guilt. I’ve been ignoring my own health issues. I’ve got weight problems that are going to cause long-term problems if I don’t deal with them. I don’t exercise nearly as much as I should. I should eat better. Beyond the social and practical issues that losing weight would help, health wise being this heavy is like committing slow suicide.

Maybe this is my wake-up call. Hopefully it’s hers too and she gets a chance to try and be better about things.

Comments

[silverselene.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear about your mom, I'll be keeping your family in my thoughts. *hugs*

[(Anonymous)]

Let us know how the surgery turns out. In the meantime, thoughts are with you, and plenty of hugs.

Your own health

[faithwinslow.livejournal.com]

Firstly: my sympathies about your mother. It's really hard to deal with this sort of thing.

Secondly: there are reasons that you haven't corrected your own health issues. Some of them are practical, some are emotional. If you're going to make long-term changes to your behaviour, you're going to need to identify and correct your reasons.

You may have insulin resistance, or some other physiological oddity that makes a 'normal' diet incorrect for you. It's worth getting checked for such things. (For example, if you do have insulin resistance, then a low glycaemic index diet is more appropriate for you than a regular diet.)

You may have subtle joint damage which makes some forms of exercise difficult or painful. I (I-player) can't do lunges or squats below a certain height, or leg-presses at certain angles, because of joint pain. If an exercise causes pain in the joints, not the muscles, don't do it! See a doctor.

Basically, get a full medical workup with the intent of identifying potential diet and exercise problems.

Then there's the 'what exercise is my body shape suited for' issue. If a naturally heavyset person tries to go running, they're doomed to always be slower than an equally-fit naturally light-set person. This tends to become frustrating. Likewise, the light-set person usually doesn't have the sheer strength of their more heavyset peer. Choose exercises that you are both physically and psychologically suited for.

Then, finally, there comes the emotional issues. I tried to just bully my way past them with sheer will. I don't think it can be done, long-term. I managed for over a year. (sigh)
Now I'm trying to resolve them. Ah well.