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Open Heart Surgery
Nov. 13th, 2005 10:52 amMom is in the hospital. She went in this past Thursday after a fainting spell and a seizure of sorts. I found out this morning that they’re planning on doing open heart surgery sometime early this week. Something about a deteriorating aortic valve.
I alternate between worry, frustration, and guilt.
Worry is for obvious reasons. Her health isn’t so good and I’m honestly not sure how well she’ll do with a surgery this intensive. I know Strong is a good heart hospital and these surgeries are more common than we like to think, but.. I still worry. On top of that, this is what took her mother away from us. At about the same time of the year. Grandma Pounds went into the hospital around Thanksgiving and left us on Christmas Eve.
The frustration is because she’s not that old. She’s only sixty-three. There’s no reason her health should be this bad except for the alcohol, the cigarettes, and the fact that she hasn’t taken care of herself for the last few years. She doesn’t eat right, and she doesn’t get any exercise at all, not even daily chores. Theoretically, she doesn’t drink as much now as she used to, but she is still pretty much what I would classify as an alcoholic. The smoking continues unabated. I just get angry thinking about what she could have done to keep herself from getting this bad this fast. There’s no reason other than neglect of her health that she’s sixty-three going on eighty-five.
And that brings in the guilt. I’ve been ignoring my own health issues. I’ve got weight problems that are going to cause long-term problems if I don’t deal with them. I don’t exercise nearly as much as I should. I should eat better. Beyond the social and practical issues that losing weight would help, health wise being this heavy is like committing slow suicide.
Maybe this is my wake-up call. Hopefully it’s hers too and she gets a chance to try and be better about things.
I alternate between worry, frustration, and guilt.
Worry is for obvious reasons. Her health isn’t so good and I’m honestly not sure how well she’ll do with a surgery this intensive. I know Strong is a good heart hospital and these surgeries are more common than we like to think, but.. I still worry. On top of that, this is what took her mother away from us. At about the same time of the year. Grandma Pounds went into the hospital around Thanksgiving and left us on Christmas Eve.
The frustration is because she’s not that old. She’s only sixty-three. There’s no reason her health should be this bad except for the alcohol, the cigarettes, and the fact that she hasn’t taken care of herself for the last few years. She doesn’t eat right, and she doesn’t get any exercise at all, not even daily chores. Theoretically, she doesn’t drink as much now as she used to, but she is still pretty much what I would classify as an alcoholic. The smoking continues unabated. I just get angry thinking about what she could have done to keep herself from getting this bad this fast. There’s no reason other than neglect of her health that she’s sixty-three going on eighty-five.
And that brings in the guilt. I’ve been ignoring my own health issues. I’ve got weight problems that are going to cause long-term problems if I don’t deal with them. I don’t exercise nearly as much as I should. I should eat better. Beyond the social and practical issues that losing weight would help, health wise being this heavy is like committing slow suicide.
Maybe this is my wake-up call. Hopefully it’s hers too and she gets a chance to try and be better about things.